Was blog hopping and came across something which made me feel like crying instantly but I can't, not while I'm in camp ... What choice did I have? I am the one who was useless and full of problem ... Now all I can do is just watch and keep all this feelings and thoughts to myself where no one will ever know nor need to know .. Everyday I still cant forget, as much as I want to forget about it all, the memories just keep playing over and over again in my head ... Try as I might, I still can't forget ..

Told myself recently, just don't care,don't bother and don't think and all will be better but it's harder than I thought ...
I'll not believe in anyone anymore, no matter how hard I try I realize the end is always the same ... I just don't have that ..choice to live properly and happily in this world I guess ..

Sometimes I think to myself, would I remember all this if I've died and moved on to my 'next life' ? Maybe then all this feeling and suffering and torture will be gone and forgotten when I've reincarnated into my 'next life' .. (:
I really want to forget but I just can't do it .. Till now, I still kept all the SMS sent and received ... And kept the nick which I saved in my phone unchanged ..